I'm sorry my penis didn't work
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
