she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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