FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so let's talk penis.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
