dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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