Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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