We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I will pee on everything he values.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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