So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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