And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
