Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
