They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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