hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
