Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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