he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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