That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
