I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
