Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
