Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
They took my balls.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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