This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
