I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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