I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
