We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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