I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
