P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize