my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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