I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
