Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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