and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize