i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Randomize
