babies were throwing up all over the place
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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