I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
