i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
