Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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