Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
