waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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