If i come over, it means nothing
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
