Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
