dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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