Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
