I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
