holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
