Sponge bath it is.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
