But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
