ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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