I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize