remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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