So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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