I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
