Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
