Im at strip club and am horny
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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