think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
