Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
