Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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