So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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