I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
