the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
